why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
