If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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