I want you more than these girls want KFC
the day after is always just damage control
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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