I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
