Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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