handjob tips. give me some.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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