your thong is hanging out like whoa
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
no you cant smoke seaweed
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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