think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
