He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
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I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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