Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize