Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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