Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
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So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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