Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
