Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
