so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
