I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm too high and old for this...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize