i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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