I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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