yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
