he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
