Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
