i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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