you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
