My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
