I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
