OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
