This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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