i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I believe in your delicious
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
