I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
