That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Everything about him screamed your future.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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