The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
