haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
