I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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