is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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