You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
