How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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