yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
