me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
