yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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