Did you just see the Batmobile???
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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