This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So gin and wine won't be happening again
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.