rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?