i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?