a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.