Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.