He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize