chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
