Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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