the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
