ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
