I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
