As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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