awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
