This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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