Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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