how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
