Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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