Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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